I (21F) had been babysitting for the same family for around seven months. Every weekday morning I’d come over before school, help get the kids dressed, make sure they ate breakfast, and take them to school. It was only a couple hours a day, but I was reliable and flexible for them constantly.
I charged $15/hour, which honestly wasn’t even much where I live, but at the time I really needed steady work and they seemed nice enough in the beginning.
Over time I started doing way more than what we originally agreed on.
If the parents were running late, I stayed longer. If the kids made a huge mess, I cleaned it. If they needed last-minute help, I usually said yes. There were multiple times I stayed an extra 20–30 minutes and never bothered charging for it because I figured maintaining a good relationship mattered more.
The kids were sweet and I genuinely cared about them, which is part of why this whole thing upset me so much.
A couple weeks ago, the mom texted asking if I could watch the kids full-time during their week off school because her normal arrangements fell through.
She wanted me there from around 7 in the morning until almost 4 in the afternoon.
I said yes pretty quickly because I figured it would be good money and I already knew the kids’ routine.
Then she asked what I’d charge.
I told her my hourly rate would stay the same since it would still just be babysitting, only longer hours.
That’s when the conversation got weird.
She said paying hourly for a full day was “too expensive” and wanted a discounted flat rate instead. I tried to compromise and gave her a lower number than my normal total would’ve been because I understood it was a longer shift.
Even discounted, it still would’ve worked out to below minimum wage where we live.
The second I gave her the number, her entire tone changed.
She laughed first, like genuinely laughed, and said, “There’s no way you think you’re worth that.”
I thought maybe she was joking at first, but then she started going off about how babysitting isn’t a “real skill” and how girls my age expect money “for doing nothing.”
I stayed calm and told her if the amount didn’t work for her, that was okay, but I couldn’t do a full day for the amount she wanted to pay.
That’s when she completely crossed the line.
She started making comments about my appearance out of nowhere. Saying I should be “grateful anyone hires” me. Asking why I thought I deserved “professional rates” looking the way I do.
I honestly just sat there stunned for a second because it escalated so fast.
This was someone whose kids I’d taken care of for months. Someone who trusted me in her home every single day.
And suddenly she was talking to me like I was trash because I wouldn’t accept being underpaid.
I remember feeling my face get hot, partly from embarrassment and partly anger.
So I grabbed my bag and told her I wouldn’t be coming back anymore.
She thought I was bluffing at first and kept talking while I walked toward the door. Then once she realized I was serious, she started following me saying I was being dramatic and “making things difficult.”
I left anyway.
About an hour later the texts started.
First she was angry, saying I was irresponsible for quitting without notice and leaving them stuck without childcare. Then she switched tactics and started guilt-tripping me about the kids being attached to me.
The thing is, I do feel bad for the kids.
That’s honestly the only reason I even questioned myself afterward.
Because logically, I know nobody should stay at a job where they’re insulted personally by their employer. But emotionally, I still wondered if I should’ve at least finished out the week or given them time to arrange someone else.
At the same time, I keep thinking: if she respected me so little that she could insult me to my face over negotiating pay, why exactly did I owe her professionalism she clearly wasn’t giving me?
Since then I’ve started babysitting for other families occasionally, and ironically they all pay me more without arguing.
So now I’m mostly stuck wondering why I tolerated being undervalued for so long in the first place.